Saturday, May 31, 2008

To Blog or Not to Blog?

Not to blog.

Instead, I’m going to soak my tired old arse.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Book Title of the Day

As a member of Beast’s Book Club for Transvestites, I should like to submit the following title for consideration as our next choice…

Villa of Queens by Alan Fair

Can anyone summarize the plot for me?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Olga, the Traveling Bra

Meet Olga, the Traveling Bra!

Olga is the world’s first and ONLY traveling bra.

And you thought The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts were the only item of travelling apparel.

This lacy, black little number even has a passport…

Here’s what Olga has to say:

My dream is to travel around to wherever life, and FedEx, leads me...
hopefully providing a little humor and inspiration along the way, because the way I see it; everyone could use a little lift nowadays.Don’t you?

So far, Olga’s been to England, France, Aruba and numerous states in the USA.

Let’s have a peek at her photo album…

Olga in England

Mammories of Maui

Olga gets lucky at the blackjack table in Vegas

Born to be wild: Biker chick Olga at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

After a few too many Bloody Marys, Olga falls in with a bad crowd in Petaluma, California

Olga temporarily goes missing, a bra-napping is suspected, but all ends well and Olga is back on the road

Right now, Olga’s just busting to start her “Grand Canadian Tour” this summer. I feel uplifted just thinking about it!

Wouldn’t it be fabulous if one day Olga, the Traveling Bra met up with The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts?

For now we’ll say ta-ta to Olga but let’s hope we see her again soon. In fact, if we’re lucky, Olga herself may stop by later today to say hello in the comments!

You can stay abreast of all Olga’s exciting globe-trotting adventures by clicking here.

Note: Thanks to Random Chick who introduced me to Olga.

Monday, May 26, 2008

How Not To Decorate Competition

Grab your cameras.

Infomaniac is holding a How Not To Decorate Competition!

You’ve already seen my gnome and my clown painting (scroll down after clicking the latter, it's worth it). Now let me see yours!

No matter how tastefully decorated your home may appear, all of you have a hideously ugly item of décor on display. Or something so tasteless it’s not even fit for re-gifting.

Princess Di figurine: Most Brits have one of these taking up space on their side tables

HOW TO PLAY: Send me a photo of the most ghastly item of décor in your house. You’ll find my email address in my Blogger Profile.

Tell us a little about the item…what it is, where you got it, why you haven’t binned it by now, etc.

DEADLINE: Friday, May 30th, 2008 by the stroke of midnight PDT (Pacific Daylight Time.)

Don’t know what time that is in your neck of the woods? Here’s a World Clock to help you. You do the math.

VOTING: Voting takes place on Wednesday, June 4th.

I’ll post all your gawd awful photos on that day.

You’ll tell me, in the comments section, which item is the most hideous.

The owner of the fugliest item wins a prize.


Send us your garish, your gaudy, your ostentatiously ornate.

You’ve got all week you lazy bitches, so go on. Get to it.

Note: No new posting ‘til Wednesday.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Old Poofs’ Home

Are you a gay who’s going grey?

A poof with snow on the roof?

Have we got a place for you!


Come on in!

Join our hosts Tazzy and Piggy (two aging poofs from Yorkshire) for a tour of this exceptional gay retirement home.

You pause on the front step, looking perplexed as there’s nothing resembling a doorbell or a knocker.

“Simpleton,” sniffs Piggy. “See that letter slot in the door at hip height? Just slip your todger through the slot and we’ll cum to greet you.”

Once inside, a portrait of Quentin Crisp greets you in the grand entrance hall.

Quentin Crisp

Photos of dead gay icons line the walls of your new home. They’re all here: Judy Garland, Oscar Wilde, Liberace, Joan Rivers… oh wait, she’s still got a few years left on that face lift.

Tazzy and Piggy lead you to the communal “living” room where you’ll find all your old gay friends.

“Lawks!” screams a freakishly tall, rake-thin figure as he bumps his head on the ceiling.

Gasp! Its IVD!

(The Home was designed by Piggy, who, by the way, is a Pygmy… a ginger Pygmy, actually. Anyway, Pygmies have no concept that the rest of the world might be over 4 feet 11 inches tall so the freakishly tall IVD is having difficulty getting about in his new home.)

Why, you ask, is the relatively young IVD living in a home for aging poofs?

IVD is only in his LATE thirties but he’s developed an old lady’s taste as seen here…

IVD’s twee little cakes. Perfect to serve at the old poofs’ home with tea and a game of bridge.

As we scan the room, we see more familiar faces.

Why, there’s Mr. Frobisher! And he’s made a friend!...

Frobi (right with feathered mask) with unidentified friend on left. Perhaps we should have called it a “Camp” instead of a Home?

Old Knudsen appears to be disoriented…

I’m not ghey! Where’s the gurlyboys?

“What about activities and events?” you inquire.

We’re glad you asked.

Come along to the spa and relax in the hot tub!…

“What about Internet access? I NEED TO BLOG!!!” you fret.

Piggy assures us, “We’re fully equipped so you need never stop blogging ‘til the day you die. Access all your faves… like Infomaniac, for example!”

“Will I have my own private bedroom?” you wonder.

“We’re still working on that,” smirks Piggy. “For now you’ll have to share a room.”…


Piggy the Pygmy (left) and the freakishly tall IVD (right) out for their morning constitutional. Note that Piggy is still able to walk upright without the aid of a Zimmer frame.

We’re sold on getting old!

Note 1: This post was inspired by Inner Voices who commented, “I went over to Tazzy and Piggys place... found the blog link and still couldn’t really figure it all out? Is it a dating site?” That led me to think that Taz & Pig should start a dating service for old poofs which led to me think they should also start up a retirement home for old gays.

Note 2: No new posting ‘til Monday so suck on this one ‘til then.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Filthy Friday – Ginger Pubes

Before I show you the photo, I must explain the term “ginger pubes” to our American readers.

It means “red pubic hair” and I won’t explain it again so take note and remember it.

When you hear the word “ginger” from now on, think red.

And now let’s get to the pubes…

The only person I know with ginger pubes is Piggy but obviously this willie is too big to be Piggy’s.

My question to you today is…

Ginger pubes: Yea or nay?

Are ginger pubes a turn-on or a turn-off for you?

Are you the owner of ginger pubes yourself?

I now declare this debate open.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Happy Birthday, Old Knudsen!

BYOB as Infomaniac hosts a birthday party for that grand old hornivore, Old Knudsen!

See how the happy Women of Infomaniac rush to embrace him with open arms…

And it looks like a good turn-out from the Men of Infomaniac as well…

The competition for Knudsen’s attention turns fierce.

Knudsen’s houseboy is summoned to suppress his legion of female admirers…

Uh oh.

Turns out the fellas have knocked back a few too many beers and have beaten the ladies up to Old Knudsen’s private party room…

So for those of us left here, munching the clam dip and wandering around with our party hats askew, let's continue enjoying the festivities.

In lieu of presents, Old Knudsen asks that you send him nekkid photos of yourselves.

Contrary to what you see going on here and hey, everyone’s entitled to a little fun on their birthday, Old Knudsen prefers women, or “weemen” as he calls them, to men.

He’s not really into the ghey scene unless you count that time in the army. Or that other time in prison.

However, if you’re an attractive, disease-free ladyboy, he’ll look the other way.

So strip down and send him your nude photos and make an old man’s birthday a memorable one.

Strike up the band and party on!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

First Nations’ Favourite Post

It’s time for another installment of Your Favourite Post.

Today’s submission comes to us from First Nations in Washington State, USA.

Embrace the corndog

But before we get to Nations' favourite post, you need to know more about her. If you’re not reading her blog, you should start today. Because I said so and you’ll see why when you click upon it’s greatness. Soon you will worship her.

First of all, Nations calls her blog “Paul. Because ‘Paul’ is a nice name.”

Despite calling her blog ‘PAUL’, Nations is really a woman. I know this because she has huge F-cup gazongas that she wields like weapons.

She misuses prescription drugs.

She has hot WHUMPA WHUMPA unsafe sex with her husband. While she’s thinking about John Cleese.

John Cleese in a bikini

She has had adventures that no television or movie producer has ever dreamed of.

She wears a “Fuck Off and Die” t-shirt … in the rain. (Wet t-shirt alert!)

She has mastered the ladylike art of high-velocity spit-hocking.

She writes porn and swears in the street.

She climbs fences and flips people off.

She hoards pens and pencils and weird shit off the sidewalk.

She has a big, oversized brain…

Nations’ brain is so big it requires separate housing outside her body!

Despite having a giant brain, she will not talk down to you if you are not as smart as she is.

Unless you are a DIPSHIT.

If you are a DIPSHIT, she will call you a DIPSHIT.

If you’re a conservative or a fundamentalist, run from her. Run from her now and run from her fast. Don’t look at me like that and say, “Yeah, right” because I mean it.

Nations: ready to kick Fundamentalist ass

Do NOT yodel around her. I found this out the hard way.

Nations takes down MJ after MJ commits the sin of yodeling.

“That’s all well and good,” you say, “but what can she do for me?”

I’m glad you asked.

Nations can teach you the following and MORE…

- how to cook breadlike objects

- how to improve upon the Wendy's Spicy Baconburger

- how to repair a Harley

- how to take care of your poontang (hint: It should not smell or taste like whats' in that coffee can your Uncle keeps in his truck)

- how to keep flying babies out of your yard

- reveal the secret of Freemasonry

And finally and perhaps most importantly, Nations can teach you how to turn your old toilet into a lovely garden planter.


Now we’ll get to the point of this posting which is to show you Nations’ favourite post that she’s written in her illustrious blogging career.

CLICK HERE to read Nations’ fave post entitled, “the first word in methane is ‘me’, baby.”

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Happy Birthday, Awa and Beast!

Happy birthday from the gang here at Infomaniac!

It’s a double birthday celebration here on Infomaniac today!

First up, the lovely Mississippi Mama known as Awaiting or Awa

Awa with a poodle on her head

Our little girl has growed up. Awa turns 30 today!

Next in line for birthday greetings is Beast

Beast’s aging arse

Beast saw the back end of 30 a LONG time ago.

Let’s be kind and just say that he’s of “a certain age”.

I wanted to give Beast a good hard birthday spanking (he deserves it).

However, Beast doesn’t like spankies so just for today, his special day, the roles have been reversed….

Join me, everyone, in wishing Awa and Beast a very happy birthday.

Note: If I don’t already know your birthday, send me an email or mention your birth date in the comments.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Who’s The Biggest Queen?

Today is Victoria Day in Canada: a day in which we celebrate the Queen’s birthday.

In honour of The Queen, I wanted to post a pic of Infomaniac’s biggest Queen.

I had difficulty making a selection what with so many of you queens to choose from but I finally settled on this one…

Queen Piggy of Barnsley

Over to you now.

Who do you think is the biggest Queen on Infomaniac?

And if you think you’re the biggest Queen, what would you do to take Queen Piggy’s crown away?